Brother Stevens amazingly got to go home from the hospital yesterday. He's back in there today -- not at all a surprise. Sending him home was a really bad idea -- not sure why they did, but he refused to go to a nursing home. The sad fact is, he can no longer care for himself and live in his home. He will just die if he's left there.
His niece got him settled in his house yesterday -- She almost had to carry him in. She came back a couple of hours later to bring him dinner, and it was like an oven in there. When he had turned on the A/C, he had turned it on vent to bring in the hot outside air. If she hadn't gone back over there, he would have died. She got him cooled off and set his dinner out for him. We're sure he didn't eat any of it -- it all went to feed his dog and the large rodent population.
I went over this morning to take him to church. Actually, I went to check on him -- I had no intention of taking him because I knew he wouldn't be able. Anyway, I hadn't been able to get him to answer his phone all morning, so I almost expected the worst. When I went over there, the door wasn't even locked -- very unusual. He couldn't even talk, and he was lying on his couch in the clothes he'd worn the day before. When we finally woke him up, we couldn't even help him sit up. I called an ambulance and they took him back to the hospital.
Today was the first time I'd ever been inside his house. I hope I never go back in there. I've never experienced any place that disturbing and disgusting in my life, and I will probably have nightmares. I talked to him at the hospital today about it as nicely but as firmly as I could about how he deserved better, and that he needed to be somewhere where he could get people to help him. His niece feels the same way, but they may have to force him into a nursing home by doing a competency evaluation on him. All they'd have to do is look at what he wants to get back to -- they'd know he was unfit to make that kind of choice. I know it may sound mean, but there is just no way a human being should live the way he has, and there is no way anyone from home health is going to subject themselves to that kind of filth to come in and help him. They couldn't pay someone enough.
Sigh. Sometimes there are no easy answers. He would rather die than be in a nursing home, but that's exactly what will happen right away if he goes back home.
Posted by 2Flower at July 11, 2004 09:15 PMFamiliarity and pride are strange things. Combine the two and some people will cling to bad relationships, substandard living conditions, and even beliefs that hurt them before they'll let anyone help or admit that they are wrong...
Posted by: Ron Bell at July 12, 2004 11:34 PMI think you are very right, Ron. I guess it's human nature. What's up with that? ;)
Posted by: 2flower at July 15, 2004 07:31 AM